Time for Joy: Creepers of the world: LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

What is it with creepy old guys? Why must they be so creepy? And why do they need to find me? First there was the Creepy Shoe Guy that kissed me on the cheek when I was shopping with Tara. Then there was the Creepy Subway Romeo who tried getting me to go eat with him even though we had maybe three sentences of shared language between us (what did he hope to accomplish on this date? Creeper...).

Well, now we can add Creepy Max Man to that list.

My graduate program is mostly made up of night classes. Yeah... it's annoying. I don't particularly enjoy having class from 4 to 9:30 at night, three days a week. Yuck! It's a good thing I like all my classes. My second and final class Monday nights is probably the best (the professor is HILARIOUS).

But, having classes at night has one particular draw back: taking the max (light rail) home at night. There's usually a fair amount of people out and about when I get out of class and onto the max. But it's still dark and, therefore, scary.

Last night, this Monday, I was standing waiting for the max at Pioneer Square when this old guy dressed like a 19 year old skate-boarder (honestly?) approached a woman who was eating out of a bag of chips. He tells her, "You know, you shouldn't eat carbs after 7."

Really? Do you know her? Is her eating chips at 9:30 any of your freaking business, man-child?

Apparently she felt the same way and laughed in his face. "F**k you! Does it LOOK like I f*****g care?!" And walked away. He was rather put out that she didn't immediately throw herself to her knees and worship his advice giving self. With all that, I was rather on edge, keeping an eye on him.

On edge as I was, I was NOT happy to see an old guy going around asking for money from everyone. UGH. Now, part of me feels bad and WANTS to give people money or food or something. But, you know what? My safety comes first and I prefer to have more control on situations where I am doing work for the homeless. Sorry if that doesn't seem perfectly Christlike, but I think it is needed in this world.

Anyways. So the guy is going around and I'm running through all the verbal self defense stuff that I've gone through with my sister's Taekwondo teacher and with my dad and I'm mildly freaking out inside but making sure my face is stony and my posture strong. BUTREALLYI'MFREAKINGOUT.

Finally he comes up to me and already he TOTALLY invades my little personal bubble with how close he is to me. He asks for money, I back up and tell him I don't carry any cash. Then he looks at me and says I look like I need a hug and he steps a little closer.

This is the point when beggar man became Creepy Max Man.

I put up my hands and say, "No," pretty dang clearly, making sure to keep eye contact though every instinct in me is wanting to look at the ground. But Creepy Max Man keeps talking and makes like he's going to move forward again so I hold my hands up more and say, loudly this time, "YOU NEED TO GO NOW."

Got a few stares and the look on the guy's face was pretty priceless. But he nodded, looked at the ground, and said, "Okay," before moving on to the couple a few feet away from me. I watched until he had talked to all the people and moved past Starbucks and then I pulled out my phone and texted my sister something like "HOLY CRAP!! I JUST TOTALLY USED VERBAL SELF DEFENSE AND I'M FREAKING OUT!!! DX"

My hands had stopped shaking by the time the max pulled up and I was done berating myself for shaking from such a minor encounter. I mean, Creepy Max Man probably wouldn't have done anything even if I HAD let him hug me. But I didn't know that. And I didn't know him. If you know me at all, you know I'm just a little big of a feminist (har har) and I could go on about the female public body etc but I won't. All you need to know is that you don't get to touch me if I don't want you to. END OF STORY.

Now, this story could have gone a bit differently if, say, this man had asked me for a hug: